The only reason I am still living

I wanted to post this letter I wrote to my daughter.

She left this morning to go to a retreat with her classmates. She attends a Catholic school and around this time each year the Seniors go for a week to a retreat where they will try and discover who they really are.

The nuns asked that each parent write their daughter a letter. My wife informned me of this 2 hours before it was due so I didn’t have a lot of time.

This is what I wrote her:

Dear Jennifer – I was asked to write you a letter which will be read out loud in front of your friends. This will limit me as to what I can say because the last thing I want to do is embarrass you; your mother is in charge of that.

You are the one thing that I have done in my life. I wanted to be a baseball player but when I got to high school I realized I didn’t have the size or the speed to compete. I wanted to be an airline pilot but my vision was not good enough to pass the test.

I have wanted to succeed in a number of different things in my life but for one reason or another I was not able to realize my dreams.

In all of those years of wondering if I would ever be good at anything I never once thought to myself, how about being a good father. Heck, before you I didn’t like kids.

Well on December 26^th 1990 everything changed. When I held you in my arms for the first time and you looked at me and for one second I was scared. In that one second I realized I was now responsible for a human being. For one second I panicked. Then that one second passed and I knew right then why God put me here. You are the reason.

You changed my life. You made me realize what was important. I thank you for that.

I could have not asked God for a better daughter and I thank God everyday that you are in my life. I know he has big plans for you sweetheart. Just know that you may not know what these plans are right now but in his time he will reveal them to you. You just have to be patient.

May God bless you and everyone you know and love.

I love you,

Daddy

About this entry

You’re currently reading “The only reason I am still living,” an entry on Doc’s Place

Published:: September 16, 2008 / 10:44 am

Category:: Uncategorized

Tags:

Steff 9.16.08 / 11am

Honey, that is so sweet. She won’t be embarassed to read it. It just might bring a tear to her eyes. It did for me.

jbsys 9.16.08 / 12pm

Thank you for your kind words. In the amount of time my bitch wife gave me to write it I wanted to say more. She is the only reason why I am still in my marriage. Also, there were many times that if she was not here I would have ended my life. With her being alive I have to continue on with my life. It would have been so easy just to end it to get out of the pain I have been suffering these past few years. When I got to the point of ending it I would take her picture out of my wallet and look at it.

Ms.Lily 9.16.08 / 1pm

That was extremely touching, I am sure she will cherish that letter for the rest of her life.

jbsys 9.16.08 / 4pm

You know sometimes less is more. I fealt bad that I was unable to write 2 3 4 pages in the letter. But I just read it again and I think this was enough.

I sure hope I stay alive long enough to see what God has planned for her. It’s going to be huge. You can trust me on this.

pluckyblond 9.17.08 / 6am

Made me teary, great job. I agree with Ms. Lily she’ll hold on to that letter for the rest of her life. Sometimes a quick deadline forces you into saying the things that matter the most.

jbsys 9.17.08 / 10am

PB – You are right that sometimes if you only have a moment to come up with something to say that getting right to the point is better. Our children make life worth living. I am so lucky I have one. Thanks

Lilly 9.17.08 / 6pm

I wish dad had thought to do that for me.
My sophmore year at college they sent home cards to get your child daffodils for something….I dunno, some group does it. He got me some, I didn’t know till they brought it to my door.
It was perfect timing. I was on the phone to my bf, crying while looking at photos of my little cousins, because I had just had a miscarriage 2 days before. We had our moment of “we could have had one of her” before realizing we weren’t ready yet.

SK 9.17.08 / 9pm

Awwww….

AV 9.19.08 / 1am

I’m sorry I didn’t get around to this sooner.

That’s really sweet. Thank you for sharing it. I hope she had a good time in camp.

jbsys 9.19.08 / 3pm

Lilly – Sometimes Dad’s just have a feeling that their little girls need them. Did you ever tell your dad about this?

SK & AV – Thank you. I really didn’t post it to show what a sweet guy but what I have found was that all of you ladies have a soft side. I read your blogs and follow you all on twitter. You all seem to be so strong and determined individuals. But your comments here show me that you need hugs every once and a while.

I hope my daughter grows up to be women like yourselves.

Thanks
Doug

Miz Helena 10.7.08 / 2pm

OMG the keyboards are stained with droplets i couldnt control. So sincere and touching and so sweet

jbsys 10.7.08 / 2pm

Thanks Miz. I have a soft side. I usually get kicked in my balls whenever I show it though!

Doc’s Place

The only reason I am still living

About this entry

12 Comments

Have your say

About

Recently

Categories